|Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?
Definition of Hell!
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Living in the Light
Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic? [Giving Off or Taking On Heat]
Von: Currie Prescott
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid-term exam. The answer by one student was so profound that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is of course
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
--- Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law which
states that gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is
compressed, or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it
will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of
these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since
people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all
souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the
same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
(1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
(2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my
Freshman year, that "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with
you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in
having sexual relations with her, then No. 2 cannot be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze
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